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Hilariously imagined text conversations―the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange―from classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O'Hara to Jessica Wakefield
Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she'd constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she'd text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.
- Sales Rank: #57807 in Books
- Published on: 2014-11-04
- Released on: 2014-11-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.28" h x .87" w x 4.98" l, 1.00 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 240 pages
Review
“In Texts from Jane Eyre Mallory Ortberg hilariously proves that she understands fictional characters better than they understand themselves. She makes me laugh like no one else.” ―Rainbow Rowell, bestselling author of Eleanor & Park and Fangirl
“Dear Mallory Ortberg's Publisher: Please send me 27 cases of Texts from Jane Eyre, because I ate it like it was candy coated in crack cocaine, it's the best, and I need to give it to everyone.” ―Elizabeth Gilbert, bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love and The Signature of All Things
“Witty and literate. Smart-ass humor with an emphasis on smart. I'm not sure who I'm more jealous of: Mallory Ortberg for her comic brilliance, or whoever got to sit next to her in high school English.” ―Adam Bertocci, author of Two Gentlemen of Lebowski
“Mallory Ortberg is actually, literally the funniest person on the internet. It turns out she has also read everything. This is the smartest, most highbrow, most sophisticated literary book that will ever make you pee yourself in public.” ―Rachel Fershleiser, co-editor of Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure
“[A] splendid and wry work of humor writing...Texts from Jane Eyre is to literary culture what The Daily Show is to politics: both use satire to expose the contradictions and absurdity enabling powerful figures.” ―Los Angeles Review of Books
“What if the greatest characters in literary history all carried around smartphones and typed out messages to each other?...[A] highbrow yet subversive sensibility” ―NPR Morning Edition
“These informal, off the cuff missives are true to each character's voice, as Ortberg understands them deeply--and the result is hilarious...Don't resist. Just give in to this crazy, wonderful book.” ―Bustle.com
“Humorist Ortberg offers a side-splitting take on famous literary characters from Gilgamesh to Hermione Granger by peeking into their imagined text messages...Ortberg charmingly captures, in short, palatable bytes, what is most memorable about famous books and their indelible characters.” ―Publishers Weekly
“Ortberg finds a way of lampooning the ridiculous characters of the past (both fictional and non fiction) thanks to her endless knowledge of and passion for western literature and history and her sharp humor.” ―BUST Magazine
“[Texts from Jane Eyre] is a treasure trove of weird literary jokes which, to be honest, are our favorite kind.” ―Brooklyn Magazine
“Each [text conversation] brings a contemporary sensibility to timeless publications of yore. Be prepared to LOL--literally.” ―Los Angeles Magazine
“Anyone who is really into the classics and also has a sense of humor will appreciate [Texts from Jane Eyre]. It will make a great holiday present.” ―BookRiot's "In the Mailbag"
“[T]his book is a literary aficionado's dream!...This compendium of witty and absolutely charming text messages from and to characters that we all know...had me laughing out loud and rereading over and over again.” ―Thereviewbroads.com
“[A] super-funny book that envisions what text conversations would be like with your favorite literary legends...I recommend you pick up Texts from Jane Eyre for any book lover with a sense of humor (and maybe a cell phone.)” ―Zulkey.com
“Just in time to complete your Christmas shopping...Read it and send your AP English teacher a thank-you note. ” ―Jezebel.com
“This makes me laugh...Cliff's Notes seem so wordy now, don't they?” ―Houston Chronicle
About the Author
Mallory Ortberg is the co-creator of The Toast, a general-interest website geared toward women. She has written for Gawker, New York Magazine, The Hairpin, and The Atlantic. She lives in the Bay Area.
Most helpful customer reviews
25 of 27 people found the following review helpful.
Just brilliant.
By amanda collier
This is an affectionate skewering of your favorite literary figures of the last 2,000 years. Quality-of-execution-wise, Mallory Ortberg manages to keep everyone recognizably in character while translating their sentiments and their communication styles into contemporary terms and forms. Concept-wise, well...you obviously jumped right on something called "Texts From Jane Eyre." And it is freaking HILARIOUS.
A couple of these have appeared in her online work, but most were new to me. The few sections that were based on books I hadn't read, I was at least familiar enough with the basic premise/characters that I "got it." Medea, petulant Achilles, Pride & Predjudice, and E.A.Poe are, to my mind, instant short-form comedy classics.
One complaint. No, two complaints. TOO SHORT I NEED MORE, and also omg how did you not do "Vanity Fair"?! COME ON, that one is PERFECT. A sequel is required, with Vanity Fair. Also Ivanhoe.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Your go-to Christmas or birthday present for anyone bookish
By mostlyyalit
I'm calling it now: This book is your go-to Christmas or birthday present for anyone bookish. It's the kind of book that I would probably never buy for myself - but I would definitely grab it for a literature-obsessed friend....and I would be delighted if someone got it for me.
The concept is simple - what if your favourite literary characters had cell phones and were able to text each other? What would they say? Would they use emoji? (Answer: YES).
As you can probably tell, this book is chock full of inside jokes. Most of the books that Ortberg turns into text form are classics - you'll see everything from Odysseus to Pride & Prejudice to The Great Gatsby here. But there are also a few newer adult and YA books, like The Hunger Games, where Ortberg has spun into a hilarious story of Peeta and his obsession with baking (note: the illustrations in this book are great and I'm pretty sure that the final version will be much prettier than my ARC!)
Ortberg has clearly read a lot more classics than I have, so there were definitely some "chapters" that I skimmed through simply because I didn't know the book. But for the books, authors and poets that I have read and loved, she pretty much hits the nail on the head and had me rolling on the floor. I definitely snorted out loud a few times, because of COURSE Catherine and Heathcliff would be texting overwhelmingly scary "I love yous" to each other. Of COURSE John Keats would be obsessing over the prettiness of an urn. And of course, Frank Churchill would be texting Emma about how much he doesn't like reserved people.
There are a ton more books that have been "textified" - some of which are REALLY fun (Babysitters Club, anyone?).
The Final Word:
The best way to experience Texts From Jane Eyre is to read it a text conversation at a time - it's not one where you'll sit on your couch and read straight through (well, you might. I did!) - instead, it's the kind of book you'll leave on your coffee table and leaf through when you need a quick laugh, and pull out for your other literary-minded friends at a party so that you can giggle out loud together.
15 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Okay I guess
By Vanessa Powell
Really deserves 2.5, premise is solid enough, but the comedic style is repetitive. The "joke" is one person, or both, texting is crazy in some manner specific to the book or author. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, a few spot on moments, but the style stretches very thin. I recommend reading it to kill time, but not as a purchase.
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